The hangover.

I drank my fair share of whiskey when I was younger. Nothing like waking up the next day, I'm sure I don't need to provide a detailed description of what this sort of hangover feels like. It's awful. You want to die. You swear that you'll never drink another drop of whiskey. You pull yourself up and hydrate. Eat some bacon. Take a shower. Eat some more bacon. Drink a Diet Coke. If you still feel ill, you contemplate a self inflicted purge. Finally, you start to feel alive again.

After mommy corralled the lil' monster in his crib last night. We ate skirt steak, drank a couple of beers, and enjoyed some nice adult conversation. A good night sleep and our little world will be right again.

Wrong. Instead, I woke up with an incredibly severe stay-at-home parent hangover. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to see, talk, or listen to anyone. I just wanted to be alone with my miserably fowl bastard self. Unlike the whiskey hangover, there is nothing you can do for yourself to feel better. The only remedy is for a family member or close friend to scoop your lil' monster up and take 'em away. Leaving you alone to heal.

When we moved to Providence, we knew that giving up this exact help was the greatest sacrifice we made. Our closest, close friends are 120 miles away. Our closest family, well, family that has actually been involved with our lil' man thus far, are 300 miles away.

I'm screwed! I don't have the luxury of options anymore. I get out of bed and try to put together a normal, fulfilling day. I move a little slower than normal, we arrive at the playground 15 minutes later than usual. The Montessori school kids that the lil' man always plays with are already there. Fortunately, the teacher is always happy to have the lil' man participate in whatever they're doing. I think it's because he sets a good example with his ability to share. I sit down and watch.

Then it happens. The ONLY remedy to this stay-at-home hangover appears out of thin air. I caught a glimpse of he lil' man's cousin, the only connection we have in Providence. "No it couldn't possibly be. I've never seen them at this park. It must be a hangover induced hallucination." But it was them. Oh thank GOD!

They played and played. I could see it in the lil' man's face, his spirit was lifted. He was himself again. And after some peaceful venting with the cousin's mom, once again, I felt ready to be a kick ass stay-at-home dad.

Family. Don't take it for granted. And for fuck's sake, don't move away from it when you need it the most.